Church

       Here's a post that will be a little different than normal. I am going to talk about me being Christian, church, and stuff of the like.
       So I grew up in an Evangelical church. Would I say I am Evangelical now? Well, I don't think I can really say that. I went to an evangelical church from when I was 6 and until I was 17. But I really didn't start to get serious until I was about 15 which is when I started to attend youth group.
       Well I guess I am just going to talk about my testimony and church.
       When I was 15 I started going to youth group with a friend. This friend very much enjoyed going and it was the high light every week. I felt like I got a lot out of the services and had fun with the people there. I really wasn't much like any of the other people there, I guess because I was more innocent and raised in a more conservative manner than a lot of the other casual attendants, but I liked them.
       That summer I became a camp counselor and it was life changing and well at the time I really knew for sure I believed in God... But things got different when I was a senior. I had been a "youth leader" the previous year then just before the senior year (12th grade) my youth pastor left. And I have to say youth group was kind of uncomfortable and awkward to attend to at the church after that, especially being a youth leader too because I had to step up. Well sometime during my senior year the head pastor of the church left as well which caused my entire family to leave looking for a new church.
       I have to tell you church searching is hard, but I started going to one where a lot of my friends went to. It wasn't the same but I still enjoyed it and I actually liked the sunday service's better than my previous church. But after I graduated it gradually got more and more awkward to go to church. I felt bad cause I loved the sermons but a lot my friends left for college and I was either older or younger and sat alone several times which made me feel uncomfortable. Plus transportation was starting to get difficult, so I guess you can say that I stopped going.
       I hopped around with my parents but then I realized, churches are awkward. In some aspects they're almost a joke. Like the people don't realize they're being hypocrits or how they are saying things that hurt people or make them feel incredibly judged. I went to sermons where the pastor would contradict himself with in the sermon. I met Christians who knew nothing about the bible and just based everything they knew with what they're religious leader said.... This is going back in times when everyone was illiterate. Not only that but the church is saying everyone is unique and has special gifts yet I feel like everyone is pressured in the EXACT SAME WAY to act a certain way and then the very second you don't reach what someone was expecting, they give this aura which is just incredibly uncomfortable.
       As I went through college I have to say I have never realized how cold I was towards people. And some Christians don't seem to understand what narrowminded means... They get upset by you for labelling them. But the thing is I know so many Christians who will go up to people and basically bluntly say "you're sinning" which is... super... hurtful to people. Or they say "I am praying for you" in a sense like "I am hoping God will show you the light."
       With that said I decided to take a very long break from church. I am tired of seeing Christians hurting people and not even realize it all while thinking they are "following God" and "Evangelizing."
       You might disagree with me but I think Christians are doing it wrong.... Like do they realize how they say things to people hurts them? Do they realize some of the things they do seem like jokes to others? We're doing these traditions that aren't even in the bible every sunday. One might say "yeah thats because its Sunday and its church" which is like the worse Christian thing to say because they also say "you should act as Christ like as you do on sundays everyday." yet all the silly traditions they do are never mentioned in the bible. Then the second you disagree with them they make it obvious they are going to "pray for you."
       My thing is I am tired of feeling like every little action to being judged and that I have to try and act a certain way all the time just reach ones expectations. I mean as long as you're not messing yours or anothers life in anyway then no one should really place so many people on a high pedestal then throw them off once they are different than what they were hoping. Plus NO ONE IS PERFECT INCLUDING YOU.
       I also want to say that not having gone to church for so long I feel like its more about me and God. More personal. Its not me, God, and everyone in my church anymore which it seems to be a lot of Christians making it. I guess before I was just trying to impress people and also was just getting a lot of my relationship idea's from other people on how to have God in your life. When its my life Gods given to ME!
       In the end I do want to find a church cause I haven't gone in a long time. Plus I was used to a certain kind of church all my life and how I was even a year ago is way different than I am now so I guess I just want to explore whats out there and see who I really am and what God has to say to me in this new area of life. I also want to say I feel more understanding of me and MY relationship with God than ever and having not gone to church for over a year has made me stronger in my faith and less blind about it.
       And to my Christian (or whatever you do/don't believe) I am going to apologize if this offends you. I am not apologizing for myself though because I take full pride in what I believe and I want you to know God is incredibly important to me. I am apologizing you are distracting yourself from God, the being that you say is your everything, to really be upset by something you disagree with. I am sorry you waste your time with these negative thoughts and either hurt or aggression. And if you read it this far and anything you read bothered you I guess you might be someone who I am hoping will read this blog I just want to ask, what is your relationship with God? Was it developed by your friends, church, maybe family?

And on a PS note
I am not saying I disagree with my old churches or parents or anything. I am just pointing out something I feel needs to be addressed in the church... And sorry if I worded this weird or had bad punctuation or something but also sorry if you waste time getting bothered by it.
I also really want you to watch Blue Like Jazz. It may not be the best done movie but it has a good message I think. And I whole heartedly agree with apologizing all these "Christians" have done to this world. They are not the face of Jesus and I hope you don't judge him for them.

Maybe Multimedia

So I was thinking I really need a job. I was also thinking is my major really for me? Well I do think I would be a great elementary school teacher, however I am not positive it will guarantee a job in the future. That and teachers don't make much money.
            If you know me well you would know my dream is to be a famous writer; the problem with that is I can’t focus long enough to finish anything I start… I guess really my dream is to have stories that are heard, whether it is short spontaneous stories, making fun of something, or long and deep stories. I also am a huge fan of symbolism and making people think. Sometimes I do that through humor, sometime through reason, and sometimes just through daily actions… Really I just want people to think for themselves rather than however they are receiving information.
            Media is one thing that really twists with people… I mean without media we’d still likely be bullying kids and lots of other things. Media has its pros and cons and my dream is best reached through media.
            Looking at a community college I learned they have a one year program to obtain a degree, one of which was multimedia and some kind of business program… I was thinking with those two things I could likely reach my dream all while earning money… Maybe it would be working with advertisements. Maybe I’ll make video’s and actually understand editing them. I could maybe have the will to write that novel. So what I am saying, I think when I head back to school, it will be back to community college and take Multimedia classes.

Barbie: the Horrible Role Model

Okay, I just want to talk about this picture for a second. But before I do that I need to find the place of origination. (if you go to google images and click the little camera icon you can upload a picture and it will find where the picture was first uploaded) If you click THIS RIGHT HERE it seems to take you to the original site. ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!

I first off want to say its really unsanitary to leave all that food on the bathroom flore. That Cabbage is going to soak up so much bacteria.
This picture leads me to understand barbie is NOT A VAMPIRE as there is also garlic. Maybe she is afraid one will come over and steal her food. Everything else in that bowl looks stuff you would cook to make a room smell nice. Maybe she's got some smelly stuff in the bathroom.
It also concerns me that she didn't bother taking out the cream above the bath tub before she took the picture, I mean seriously barbie we don't want to know about any rashes you might have. Speaking of health treatments above the bath tub I am wondering if maybe Barbie has other bad health habits. Or maybe those were the pills that her friends took and accidentally overdosed on.
Now lets see whats above the toilet.. A fish bowl... Wait... Did your gold fish die? I DON'T THINK SO! Barbie, you have to be careful!!! Something might happen and you might accidentally knock him into the toilet where he will be flushed down the drain and turn into some kind of sewage monster. Do you know how disturbed that will make children? YOU ARE A ROLE MODEL! Please don't scar children with turning fishes into sewer monsters.
Aww yuck, I just realized your bath room is such a mess. Couldn't you have cleaned up even more before this picture? Where on earth are your shoes too? Do you know how much bacteria is in your bathroom? What if you had a cut? Please at least wear a sock or something.

Well as you can tell, Barbie is a horrible role model...

Youtube: CheifShock

So I am starting to feel good about making video's... I really was originally just making them for friends and a few people I don't know subscribed... Well at this point its only 16 subscribers, but I still feel good about it. I have a few skit idea's but I don't know enough about video editing. I am thinking I might just click around and hope I figure it out.
But anyway my youtube channel; CheifShock is allowing me to tell the dorky stories that have happened. Which this blog was originally for but I might every so often just end a post with my latest video.
CheifShock if you are wondering how I got the name its because I was a camp counselor and my camp name was Shock... I always felt like some kind of chief doing it and I always thought "Chief" would be a cool name. I switched the i and the e cause of my name, Keith. Also if you want to make the h silent in the word, it would sound like "Keef" which is a cutesy way of saying my name.
Some of the challenges I've had is the camera... At first I was using my web cam but I couldn't get it to look right in any of the lighting I've been in. I might go back to it if I can find better lighting. Then I got a new camera which has been giving me way better quality but for pictures it leaves a red line; but not on video's. This camera has a wind noise too that I don't know how to get rid of... Oh and I need a tripod cause its really shaky... ya I don't have much video making experience, maybe that can be my niche-quirk?!?

Anyway I will link and explain a short summary of each video I have thus far posted.

The Uterus is Utters for Humans. is where I talk about a middle school experience. During sex ed I had to read and explain a couple things and well... I guessed and was wrong about what girl body parts are. It unexpectedly got over 400 views really quickly. A very pleasant surprise especially it being my first video I had posted.
Colossal Boobs I went to a concert and got seperated from the group getting stuck in some ladies... well lets just say you should watch it! currently is at 80 views.
Fat Cannibals is probably the most different between all of them. Its the closest one to a vlog and you have a better idea of what my sarcasm is. Basically I just vent about getting ran over by some dude on a scooter. I think this one is my favorite thus far. about 60 views as of right now.
Kid Stories "They have butt cheeks on their chests!" Basically kids say the darnest things! amiright orwhat? 50ish views now. It's also the longest video I have posted by a couple minutes.
Girls don't have taste buds outside their mouth flavored condoms are real? Why do we need them?!?!? I guess girls can taste in their... Oh wait I don't want to say the word.

Also if you want to watch them all I made a playlist for my stories which is called Story Time

Idea's for the future is skits... Hopefully this will be a good learning experience for video editting. I am thinking about telling stories with some of my funny friends where they react and make fun of me. Maybe me interviewing friends and making fun of them too. Oh and I have quirky silly songs which I want to do too but... well... lets hope it sounds good.

My Opinion on News Media

So I was going to originally post something about social media. But I decided to change it to another kind of media, the news; my opinions on the recent George Zimmerman trial, my feelings about it, and whether I think they were right or wrong.

Actually.... I have no opinion. In fact I know almost nothing about it except some guy killed a minority. I am well educated enough at this time in my life to where I am already aware of crap like this happening all the time. It's a sad truth. I mean yeah, people die every day. It happens. Something I've learned is you can't get overwhelmed about it. I'm also aware sometimes people can be innocent. So whatever the case with George Zimmerman is, I guess I just don't feel that I need to know.

Some people following up news stories is their hobby and that's okay. But to me I feel like it makes people edgy. I think the reason why there's so much labeling upon others is because there isn't much trust towards other people because of how much we hear about horrible things happening. And quite honestly, I don't like feeling worried, mad, depressed or any of those feelings. It seems like that's all news does to me. They say "we just want to show what people want to watch" but I have to disagree. If they showed more happy stuff, like praising charitable people more often I'd watch news more. The only reason people want to see negative stuff on the news is because of how long its been shown to us. Its what we grew to want to watch on the news... So why can't they help us grow out of it?

In all honesty the only time I really want to know about something bad is if its a major event, like a war upcoming.

Sure if something tragic happened to me I'd talk about it, but I'd talk about it personally with my own personal friends and acquaintances.

What to blog about next?

Blogging often is hard at times. I honestly have an endless supply of things to talk about and discuss but sometimes I am not sure if its something I truly want to post. Or maybe I am not sure its long enough to post. Or something along those lines... I never really get replies to posts but do get the views. So if you view this I guess my question is, what should I talk about. Give me an idea and I will make a post to the best of my ability. It can be humorous, political, philosophical, or anything. This is kind of my review on life I guess so give me stuff to review!

Motivation

Everyone has different things they struggle with. As I have been getting older I have really noticed the ones that have affected me the most. Today I can honestly say the one thing that has been the biggest struggle for me would be self-motivation.

I often say one of my strengths is how little care, its also my biggest downfall. I guess I really just don't care about things which is always really nice because without caring I never really let things effect me negatively. But at the same time I do have goals and ambitions which I want to achieve.

The way I often see things is "Well I've gone without it this long I can go a little longer." For me personally seeing a reward at the end does nothing because of this. I'd rather do nothing and be okay without something I already don't have than actually doing it. I have learned though that rewarding myself before hand is better because then I feel obligated to actually get something done to show my appreciation towards something.

In high school I had the worse self motivation problems. Never doing homework and kind of just barely getting by day to day. Being punished never really bothered me because like I said I just don't care. That and being punished from where I was at never would have done much because to me it was like being grounded wasn't much different to how things were already.

Normally the best times for me to get motivation going is when i have something to inspire me... But it kind of has to be a constant inspiration. Like maybe watch or listen to motivational speakers or read encouraging things. The times I had the most motivation was when I had the most things going on in my life, probably because I am most exposed to the encouraging aspects in life.

So I have to ask, what are the biggest personal weaknesses which other people have?