My Life is Dorky

1.       At the first concert I went to, I got my arm caught between a large ladies boobs and it was rather difficult to get it unstuck.

2.       I was asked, “What school is this,” by a guy from my college. I told him then he said, “No like the one that’s here now?” I explained to him that I didn’t know then he asked, “Do you know where the yallo went?” Before I could answer he just left.

3.       In a dance class I’m taking, the dance instructor (who’s an older man) was using the girl I was dancing with to show the next move. When I came back to dance with her, I realized he left me really bad gas. The girl wouldn’t talk and I was trying my hardest not to gag.

4.       Ever sense I have graduated, I have had four girls who have confessed they always liked me and another three who asked me if they would go out with me. One stranger wanted to have a one night stand with me; she asked me in person.

5.       My friend was asked by a guy at the college if she would be his, “vampiress.”

6.       The first concert I performed in for a jazz band I was in (mid-school to high-school), I got electrocuted by the electric guitar. It was minor and I still managed to play without making it too obvious I was in pain.

7.       A very flamboyant man (in his late 40’s) kinda stalked me my first term in college. First I saw him in the library where he told me how, “cute” I was. He finished before I did in the library, but when I walked out, he was waiting for me. He talked to me about life and his last relationship. Then I saw him around every so often and he’d always wink at me. One day he asked if I would be his new roommate, he even offered to pay for all the expenses.

8.       I have never won a game of chest, not even on the computer.

9.       When I worked at a summer camp, I had a camper who was a little bit shorter than me in 6^th grade. He was able to completely throw me out of the swimming pool.

10.   I was on a church camp out and my dad completely pantsed me in front of everyone. (I was 9).

11.   Another camp out, I was going tubing behind a boat. I was trying to purposely fall out, then my shorts fell off and I was still in the tube. I let go completely and jumped out.

12.   I was trying to impress a life guard when I was twelve. I did a flip into the pool and my head hit the diving bored.

13.   I had never touched an electric fence before and I wanted to see what it felt like so I touched purposely and screamed very loudly. (I have a lot of stories about being shocked, that’s why all my screen names have “Shock” in them and that’s where my camp name “Shock” came from.)

14.   I was on omegle and I was having a very cool conversation with a man (looked like he was in his 30’s) then kept on asking me to “show.” It was really weird because we were talking about being a Christian before that. Then he started stripping so I disconnected for the night.

15.   The movie “40 year old virgin” taught me what a virgin was. It was really awkward because I watched it with my family and we didn’t know “unrated” meant NC-17. Before unrated meant it just wasn’t rated rather than it has nudity.

Unusual Happenings

1.       I confused my sister with some lady who was looking at Men’s underwear. I started to tease her for being perverted sense she was looking in that section. That’s when I realized it wasn’t my sister.

2.       I had a professor who, out of 6 urinals, chose the one next to me. Then he started talking to me, and I got distracted and started to miss the urinal…

3.       I accidentally sent an email meant for friends to one of my high school teachers.

4.       I’m one who hates hugs. But occasionally someone will be an exception. I thought I saw one of those few people so I started to give them a big hug from the back. Then it wasn’t them.

5.       In Sims 3, my Sim got attacked by a Meteorite and died.

6.       I had a 7 year old make fun of me because I had shoes with some pink on them.

7.       I had campers who were head butting a rug one of the Summers I worked at camp.

8.       I can’t say Switchfoot, and it is my favorite band. I can’t say the “ch” sound unless I over emphasize it. Then I just sound like an idiot.

9.       I got caught checking myself in the mirror once and the person who caught me took a picture without me knowing it.

10.   I was cuddled by a man (unwillingly) in a bed. It was the most uncomfortable I’ve felt. (They did it because they knew that I have problems with being touched.

11.   At my Winter Formal, I was dancing around with my friends, and there was this girl who was dancing with her separate group of friends, but the girl was like really close to me, and the photographer thought we were a couple, so she took a picture of us as a couple. I didn't even know the girl and we both looked really uncomfortable in the picture.

12.   I was trying to explain what kind of apples make ORANGE juice. I thought I was saying apple juice.

13.   I got in trouble for putting a baby on the table. I didn’t know that that was a bad idea.

14.   I lost a shoe in a marching competition.

15.   The right half of my chest has hair and the other doesn’t. And I don’t know why.

16.   I had to go through 4 continues on the first level of the super Mario game for the Wii.

17.   I was running and lost my balance in front of a bunch of cute girls. My knee became really bloody and the jeans ripped. Then my dear crazy friend, Kyle, came up and put his finger on the blood then licked his finger.

18.   I got the clumsy award at the end of each year in high school. We have a poll in band for “band personalities.” I always get something making fun of my clumsiness and mad marching skills. I also was voted band king my senior year.

19.   For my Junior prom we got these cool fun glasses. I dropped mine in the urinal. Then I snuck away to get a new pair and pretended nothing happened. Then somebody noticed that they were a different color.

20.   In my Creative Writing Class, some girls were spreading around their lip gloss and described how tasty it was. So I asked if I could have some, without realizing how it was awkward. I put it straight into mouth (I didn’t want it on my lips) and then spat it out and then the “all girl except me” class started laughing. It took a while for them to explain to me that I did it wrong.

Pressure, Judgement, Diversity, and Peace

I feel like I’m the only one who sees the world the way I do. I mean, yeah, it’s good to be diverse, but everyone else seems to see things the same way as each other.

                People always pressure you into thinking that certain things are okay, when I don’t think they are. Others think they’re completely wrong so they cause conflictions against you. I don’t even feel like I have an angle in the circle, I just feel like a circle within the circle, a very small circle that is very noticeable and some people probably get annoyed that it’s there.

                Why can’t people realize that things are wrong, and at the same time not judge others for the wrongdoings? Yeah, so a guy swears, doesn’t mean he’s a terrible person. Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t listen to what he has to say. In fact it’s just a word.

                I put myself closest to the “judge” section, because I realize the bad and I don’t want to support it. But I don’t want to go completely against it. Diversity is good. But why is there so much pressure to be a certain way or why is there so much war when there is disagreement? Why can’t people just always get along, see each other’s beliefs and have nothing but respect for the differences?